the gift of friendship: Manie

Friendship is the gift.

We underestimate its value.

We take it for granted.

We do not realize, if we have friends, we are fortunate.

I’m not talking of people you have ‘contact’ with. There are many of them. I’m talking of people who choose to share your life for no apparent reason. People who enjoy ‘who’ you are and just goes ahead and shares your life.

‘Life sharing’ doesn’t always mean you talk every day or eat together weekly.

Manie and I see each other from time to time. We would have lunch together, or I would stop at his home in the late afternoon and enjoy some conversation and a little bit of Johny Walker. I won’t hold it against him that he’s never cottoned onto Jack.

We met quite accidently.

My life is like that. Not very intentional, it just sort of happens and thus far it has ‘happened’ quite nicely.

I’m grateful.

We had just moved to Nelson Mandela Bay. We saw each other at an event, then bumped into each other at a shopping mall. Then had lunch. It was he who invited me. It was he who was interested & wanted to get to know me & understand me.

Wow! What a complement if someone wants to ‘know’ you.

We spoke and whenever we spoke it was meaningful. Not superficial. Not ’empty’. Perhaps that is part of what atracted me to Manie. Also, that he was willing to consider and re-consider. I like people who aren’t rigid and hard. People who ‘change their mind’ about stuff.

What atracted me most to Manie is his ‘spirit’. His willingness to afford people opportunities regardless of wether they take it or even take advantage. He is a kind man. Loving, graceful and forgiving.

He can be, for he admits his own brokenness. He is honest about it and how it has impacted lives. He is quick to apologise. I admire that about him. He’s not graceful in the hope of gaining something, he is graceful in the knowledge that we all do our best & sometimes it is good enough and sometimes it doesn’t work out.

I love Manie for his condensed words of wisdom.

“Water finds its own level.”

“Your attitude determines your altitude.”

“You can choose your friends, that is what makes it valuable.”

“You have to be stupid enough to go on long enough.”

“You can give, but if you want to control the outcome, it is not giving at all.”

“What I have is His doing.”

“If someone didn’t help me, I wouldn’t be who I am.”

Isn’t it beautiful?

The simplicity of it.

The immensely complex simplicity of it.

These days we see each other less.

Manie travels.

He is enjoying the island life of Seychelles or the quiet village atmosphere of St Francis Bay, only visiting from time to time to attend to some urgent matters before he flys off to a new interesting destination.

Still we’re friends.

Still we share life & affect each other.

Friendship is never dependant on physical proximity, it has more to do with spiritual proximity. Not in the sense of ‘thinking’ in the same way or ‘talking’ in the same way, more in the sense of ‘conecting’ regardless of distance or time.

I am grateful, this Christmas, for the gift of Manie’s friendship.

Through our friendship I came to see that I am more than I ever believed. I came to discover that “there are many ways to kill a cat”, that “leading is lonely” and “the fact that the majority belives something doesn’t make it true”.

I’ve ‘become’ through our friendship.

I’ve become ‘more’.

I’ve become ‘me’.

I hope somehow I’ve added value to him as well.

This is my hope in all my friendships, for what kind of friendship would it be if it is not reciprocal?

__________________

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3 thoughts on “the gift of friendship: Manie

  1. When life just happens the way you describe here, you know the people you meet are the right ones, the things that happen to you are truly meant to happen. So often we try to interfere and try to control things, and then we miss all the great opportunities that could have come from just letting things play out naturally.

    It sounds like you have a really great friend in Manie. How many relationships (friendships, etc) have you been in where people expect you to be a certain something, almost like they have this ideal of you in their minds and when you turn out to not be that, they are upset with you and the relationship goes sour.

    I have very few true friends, but I know the ones that surround me are all part of “my tribe”. They’re my people. we think alike and no-one expects anyone to be anything other than exactly what they already are.

    • a while back i entered a portal where i embrace friendship which accepts me, we don’t all think alike, but we do allow each other freedom to ‘be’ – it is better (for me). allowing life to happen, yes! embracing the rythm, yes! 🙂

  2. Pingback: this is us « Sevencitys' Blog

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