the gift of friendship: hope & fear

If you have friends, real friends, authentic friends who share life with you and embrace you, you are fortunate.

It is a gift.

It is rare.

This Christmas I celebrate the people who chose to spend some of their precious time on me and us.

What a complement, in this fast paced life with so little time, if someone wants to ‘be’ with you, share a meal or a conversation with you.

It speaks of value & meaning.

There are people I enjoyed who never became my friends. Others who enjoyed me, to whom I’ve never become a friend.

Friendship speaks of honesty.

Intimate honesty.

To be so comfortable and open that we can hang our dirty laundry on the same washing line, burn the lot on a communal bonfire and buy some new ones to get dirty all over again.

If you hide who you really are or what you really think in order to retain a person’s friendship, it is no friendship at all.

If you can get redicoulously drunk, do the most idiotic things which embaress your friends and walk in there the next morning without fear of ridicule or loss of friendship, then you’ve found it. The real thing.

Perhaps the key to great friendship is to realize that we all do idiotic things. We all make mistakes. We all mess up and choose stupidly.

Who cares.

Friendship should be a space in which you can be stupid without fear.

It should be a space in which you can speak your mind, the craziest ideas, and have people who will be interested.

It should be a space in which you can fall and there will be people who will help you get up.

I’ve lost friendships.

People getting angry at me or not wanting to forgive me after I’ve hurt them or chose something they could not comprehend or understand.

It is always sad when relate-tionships are broken, but perhaps those which break because there is no forgiveness or no acceptance were never destined to blossom & grow, for if we truly relate we will always find the ‘space’ where relating is more important than our own pain or dissapointment or expectations.

To all my friends: I am going to dissapoint you, I am going to do something at some time which you do not and cannot understand, I am going to hurt you in and amongst all the wonderful times we share, but I promise you this, I will always be honest about who I am & what I think and in my actions and I will always be loyal like a dog, I will choose ‘your side’ even if I know you’ve done the stupedist thing and my intention will always be to build you and add value to who you are & give you the best of who I am.

To me that is friendship.

It is what I have.

It is what I expect.

It is a place of ‘no fear’ where we have ‘nothing to lose’.

It is ever expanding, attracting new energy & ideas & relate-tionships.

It is what we were made for.

What I believe is at the heart of the meaning of life.

If you have this – celebrate it!

__________________

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