these few things

darkest of times
Happiness.

I’ve come to believe that we were created for it.

I’ve come to see how few live from it.

Many live ‘towards’ it.

Constantly hoping, that somehow, somewhere, in a future place, it would become reality.

Its not that we are ‘unhappy’.

Its just that we’re not happy.

As I work on this ‘Happiness Project’, creating a ‘Happiness Seminar’ & ‘Book’, recording ‘Happiness Minutes’ – I’m also considering my own happiness.

I’m realizing, these few things, are the culprits who keep us from happiness.

Me.

And us.

For I am not that unique.

My experience is our experience.

At least in some sense, for some of us.

So here they are, today, written down, in a neat little list, hoping that perhaps if we name them, we may be enabled to contend with them, a little more effectively.

These few things – the culprits who keep us from unlocking happiness:

  • rejection – not being accepted for who we are in key-relationships.  Our parents.  Our partners.  Our children.  Our friends.  Perhaps even our ‘self’.  If the ‘who’ of ‘who I am’ remains rejected I cannot access happiness.  I cannot force others to accept my ‘who’.  I can choose to embrace my ‘self’.  I can choose to come to peace with whomever is not at peace with ‘me’.  A tough one, especially when the rejection or non-acceptance comes from someone I would’ve loved to be embraced by.  Perhaps it helps to know that I have no control over the choices & actions of others?  Perhaps it enables me to believe that it is better to be rejected for who I am, than to be embraced for who I am not.

If you want to be happy – embrace yourself.

If you want happiness to overwhelm you – stop caring about the ones who do not embrace you, find people who are able to see you & love you for who you are.

An ancient letter speaks of ‘joy’ being the ‘fruit’ of the Creator’s Spirit, coming alive in us, as we become connected to Being.

If you want happiness to come alive inside of you – be infested by the awareness that the Creator believes you to be exquisite & immense and (s)he has embraced you even before you came into being.

Perhaps you will become ‘acceptance’?

Of yourself & every single being to whom you are in proximity, even the ones who so painfully reject.

As you become aware that you are more than accepted.

Embraced.

For everything you are.

  • un-reciprocated affection – not being loved by people whom you love desperately.  Our parents.  Our partners.  Our children.  Our friends.  Perhaps even our ‘self’.  Affection is different from acceptance.  It is a deep meaningful touch.  A caring.  A knowledge that I am more than embraced.  A knowledge that I am valued.  That me & my needs are important.  That I am ‘part’ of something.  Included.  I cannot control others.  I can choose to have affection for my ‘self’.  I can choose to ‘be’ affection.  To include.  My ‘self’.  And those to whom I am in proximity of.  I can choose to come to peace with whomever does not reciprocate my affection.  A tough one, especially when the un-reciprocated affection comes from someone I would’ve loved to be loved by.

In that same ancient letter, it is said that ‘love’ & ‘peace’ is the ‘fruit’ of the Creator’s Spirit, coming alive in us, as we become connected to Being.

If you want to be happy – reciprocate affection to your ‘self’.

Love your ‘self’.

Love the people who are in proximity to you.

Love people who would be glad to be loved by you.

Make peace with the ones who cannot see beyond their own un-reciprocated love.

If you want happiness to come alive inside of you – be infested by the awareness that the Creator is love to you, regardless of what anyone may say.

In our cultures, which has infected our religions,  love is too often a currency.

Something traded.

Given in exchange for compliance.

Or denial.

Of our being.

Love is never given.

It is.

A way.

Perhaps, the Way.

If you want happiness to come alive inside of you – be overwhelmed by the awareness that the Creator is love in your presence, always.

Perhaps, aware of this, you will become it too.

Less concerned about reciprocation.

As you bask in the warmth of the love (s)he is.

  • despondency – feeling I have been abandoned & there is no hope.  No hope of being everything I hoped I would be.  By our parents.  Our partners.  Our children.  Our friends.  Perhaps even God.

Alone.

Left to my own devices.

Without any support.

Should this be true, it alone would be reason enough to fall into deep unhappiness.

For we are created to be an us.

Connected.

Collective.

We are created to support & be supported.

To do together.

And in our ‘doing’ to become.

It is sad that our cultures has isolated us.

Individuals.

Hanging on to the words of Nitsche that the strongest man is he who stands alone.

Alone is the road to unhappiness.

Alone is not what we were created for.

It is an illusion.

May you become aware of this.

Exquisitely & carefully woven.

Made with delicate care & love.

So describes an event more ancient wisdom our coming into being in this existence.

May you become aware that (s)he (the Creator) desires nothing more than to mingle her being with yours.

May you experience that (s)he is in you.

With you.

Being alongside you.

And may you be.

As (s)he is, from even before the beginning of time.

A collaborator.

A someone, who is not ‘one’, except in a collective ‘us’, with her & us.

May you see, that everything is possible.

Or at least that it is possible for you to ‘become’.

To express who you are.

In everything.

That is the ‘success’ you are so hungry for.

The ‘success’ you’ve thought would come in money & stuff.

May you find happiness, aware that despondency is only present when we do not see her presence.

May you be infested by happiness, aware that you are not on your own.

May you embrace your plurality.

And collaborate in becoming.

Perhaps, as we become acceptance & love, we will become an us?

Perhaps that is the ‘light’ we could turn on?

Perhaps then we will live from happiness, instead of constantly & desperately towards it?

May this be true for you.

For if it is, you have found life.

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