I’m a good faith kind of guy.
If you think about it, we do a lot of stuff ‘in good faith’.
Investing the conviction that someone else, be it a person, an institution or a business will be what they say they are.
Yesterday I walked into our local grocer. I grabbed a freshly baked bread from the bakery. Some eggs from the shelf proclaiming ‘free range’ & a pack of coffee from my favorite local roaster.
With every item I put in my basket I exercised faith.
I believed the bread was really fresh. Baked with only the best and freshest ingredients.
I believed the eggs were truly free range. Not from chickens stuck in a coop & fed growth hormones so that they’ll pop out 17 eggs a day.
I believed the coffee was coffee. Roasted from beans imported from African farmers who received they’re dues and perfectly blended.
I have no way of knowing.
I can consume it.
And as I consume it I can taste and experience and based on my previous experiences I could deduce that the promises were fulfilled.
But I cannot know.
It is not only at the grocery store that we exercise faith.
We grow up with it.
We believe the silent promises of our parents that they love us.
That they will take care of us.
That they’re guidance is good and meaningful and that they know best.
And then puberty hits.
And we test that faith.
We throw caution to the wind & try stuff, do stuff differently, experiment.
And sometimes we return to that original faith.
And sometimes we don’t.
But we keep on believing.
We keep on trusting.
Putting our faith in others.
Even if it is new others.
Because there is no alternative.
There is no guarantee.
We have to believe.
My partner when she promises to love me in good times and bad, in times of abundance and in times of drought.
And only when the drought hits do we really know if our faith was justified.
Faith cannot be forced.
Its fulfillment cannot be demanded.
It is risky.
Always waiting on being answered in a time to come.
Off course there is experience.
My Zuko has fulfilled what I have believed many times over.
She has loved me in good times and bad.
She embraced me in abundance & drought.
This experience does not negate the need for faith.
It increases faith.
For now I believe even more in my Zuko, trusting that we are truly one and friends and partners.
But it remains hope.
For tomorrow comes and only in tomorrow can promises be fulfilled.
My faith has disappointed me.
Many times over.
I’ve bought food that was not as organic as proclaimed.
I’ve taken out insurance which did not guard against the crises as agreed.
I’ve had friendships which were not unconditional.
Apointed people who did not give it their best.
Invested money that wasn’t used for what building what I had hoped.
And that is fine.
For if you do not believe, you will never know.
And so I choose to keep on living in good faith.
Adjusting only this, in myself, for it is only of myself that I have control – making sure that I am faith-ful.
That I answer the promises I make.
For as we have faith in others, they have faith in us too.
In the promise of ‘me’.
Even if I do not express them with words, I do make them.
In the smile.
The way I present myself.
The desires I talk of and the feats I attempt.
And often it is outside of our control.
And as we age beyond thirty and forty and fifty we are salted by caution.
We intentionally promise less.
But still we promise.
For that is the nature of our kind.
Our kind which is not always that kind.
But always hopeful.
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