A Gift this is indeed.
To live beyond making peace.
Grinding your teeth & facing the giants.
And trying some more.
And hoping the best is yet to come.
Tomorrow, perhaps the sun will shine.
Tomorrow, the breakthrough will come.
And it will be, everything I wished.
It is a Gift.
To embrace with gratitude.
And apparent failure.
Loss & gain & loss again.
To walk, free of anger, dissapointment & that terrible conviction that where you are is not good.
It is a Gift.
Along 礼品之路 (Lǐpǐn zhī lù or The Way of the Gift) I am learning a different Way.
Not free of discontent, for even discontent is Gift & good, as it moves me to the places & experiences I should encounter.
I am learning a Way which is light.
As well as free of weight.
I am seeing that we are not entitled.
And neither do we owe.
That who I am.
And what I am.
With all my health or lack thereof.
All my ability.
All my abundance or perceived poverty.
By (s)He who is the Gift.
My heart has always been grateful.
With a curious arrogance.
Along 礼品之路 (Lǐpǐn zhī lù or The Way of the Gift) I am overwhelmed with a new gratitude.
A peculiar kind.
One which suddenly comprehends that even though I may have worked or earned, I have consummated nothing.
For that I am, is not of me.
Nor who I am.
Or what I have become.
In all my strife, an indulgent hand.
Chance, beyond fortuitousness.
Even sallary or wage, at the end of an 180 hour month, no right to claim.
Or happiness inalienable.
All I have – all – Gift.
Gained, yet not obtained.
Despite desperate demands made by my soul to the contrary.
My preciousness not captured through conquest.
Even this received.
As I am called into being.
Frustrated I am.
As I hold this choice benefaction.
Hoping to be benefactor to all I know & all I meet.
Bestowing it, in abundance.
That I am not the Gift.
And (s)He will overwhelm to heart’s delight.
As (s)He has settled in my being.
And I receive.
Frustration dissipating into favor.
And as I walk & meet & talk, I hear the whisper.
“You too shall have. From vaults inexhaustible. This gift of gratitude.”
礼品之路 (Lǐpǐn zhī lù) irresistible.
From eternity to eternity.
Even this more Gift.
Allowing me to be.
And so I whisper too.
May you have, from vaults inexhaustible, this gift.