To combine my existence, my life, with the existence & life of another is an exquisite gift.
To live a life combined.
My being willingly mingled with the being of an exquisite other.
Dissolving, over time, into each other.
Sugar into milk.
Both of us sugar.
Both of us milk.
Both of us dissolving.
Creating something new.
A new being.
Defying the logic of maths.
1 + 1 never 2, but 1.
At the same time.
A single new being.
Greater than the sum of its parts.
This is a gift.
It must be a gift.
Something given and received.
Many seek it.
Few have it.
In the USA it is predicted, there will be 2.208 million weddings in 2015.
That is 4.416 million people seeking religion & state to sanction their relationship, as they publicly declare they will share life, together, for better or worse, until death do they part.
Apparently, two-thirds of these weddings are preceded by cohabitation.
Two people sharing the same living space & life, to some extent, usually including sexuality and the intimacy Religion would prefer to sanction, before engaged in by couples.
An expression of the desire of lives combined.
In Europe 4 million people got married in 2012.
1 million people got divorced.
In Europe the official divorce rate seems to be 60%
In the USA it is approximately 50%
In China it is much lower, at around 20%
In China and India, it is aproximated that more than 98% of people get married.
It seems, people around the globe desire to commit themselves to shared lives.
Through deep and meaningful, loyal friendships.
It seems, most of us, mostly, end-up with deep dissapointment.
If not with divorce, then with marraige which is everything except lives combined.
Or moving out.
Or moving on.
Just to try again.
It seems, to combine your existence with the existence of another, is a deep seated human desire, whether expressed in marraige or cohabitation. </em>
It seems, to truly combine your existence with the existence of another, is a rare occurrence.
I cannot explain it.
I can only see it.
And perhaps make sense of it, as our Origin resolves to bring us into being, an ‘us’, like (s)He.
In a time, when time was something new & not yet a burden or the keeper of perishing.
It is inevitable.
It is who we are.
This hunger inside us.
Us, now, trying to answer its call.
With what we call marraige.
With what should be deep, beautiful at-one-ment.
I’ve known this.
I know it.
For two decades Zuko and I have been living a combined life.
We fell in love.
We made vows.
To each other.
We will share each other.
We will live, from a single heart.
To combine something, is to create something entirely new, from previously seperate sources.
Perhaps, in all our desire for a combined life, we do not know what we are longing for?
Perhaps we do not understand, a life combined implies a life given up?
A life received as it is given up.
I know this is gift, from the Gift, for I know my brokenness in which my hunger supersedes my desire to satiate this hunger in another, rather carnivorously slaying & devouring raw flesh than giving myself and at the same time receiving myself.
This is the Gift.
Our Origin & Sourceror.
And in the giving, receiving.
And in the at-one-ment, expanding.
I see two people.
They make their vows.
But they live seperate lives of mine and yours.
Two bank accounts.
Seperate accounts to be paid.
Sacrifice, but no giving.
And no receiving.
To live a single life, combined from two lives, is no sacrifice.
It is no loss.
It is only gain.
And it cannot be dissolved.
At-one-ment, cannot be undone.
And so, I urge you, for the urge exist in all of us anyway.
If you seek, as so many does, to combine your life with that of another, then seek it completely, into at-one-ment, giving not of your self, but your self entirely, until you do not exist in separateness, but a greater collectiveness, in which there is no competition or tug-of-war for me or mine against you or yours, but only us, being, not together, but one, in heart and mind and hope, in dream and desire, in love.
And loss again.
This is what our being longs for.
This is why we walk away.
For it is never found in what we’ve constructed in our hesitant vows and reserved cohabiting lives.
You see, we do not need the sanction of state or religion, to validate our relationships.
We do however need to be at-oned.
As we are at-oned with and by our Origin.
In the mysterious mystical dance of happiness, framed by love and peace.
Which cannot be claimed or taken or earned or created.
Which is received, as we give ourselves to be received.
Whether you have been married for decades or living together for a week – embrace what you truly desire.
So you can give it.
From our Source and Sourceror.